Ronnie Kagan Interview (Part 3 of 3) - My midnight interview with the International Business Guru

Me: You have gone through so much and evolved over the years. Do you think you have changed in terms of your personality, and how?

Ronnie: Absolutely. I have gone from an manipulative, insecure, fearful person, to someone who is presently conscious about what he has available and uses it to the benefit and advantage of the global community rather than to manipulate the global community.

What made you sit here waiting 2 hours to chat with me?

(This question made me think. Oh yes, I actually waited 2 hours for this interview. But somehow it just didn't feel like 2 hours.... )

Me: Because its part of my calling. What I want to do.

Ronnie: So you learn somethings from me, and you gain some phenomenal information, open up some doors that could change your life forever, and other people would sit down and say:

"you're crazy, you wait for some bloke you don't know in a hotel lounge bar, what's going on?"

but you know that you are doing what you feel is right to do. And that's what makes the difference between ordinary and extraordinary.

Extraordinary people are ordinary people who just do that little bit extra. And in the moments of doing that little bit extra, within themselves they seem insignificant, but when you add that little bit extra on top of that ordinary, you end up having an extraordinary life.

And then people sit down and say to you. Gee, you're lucky Karen... Wow you are sooo lucky! Well luck has nothing to do with it.

Me: Yes, we create our own luck. Many people are stuck in their jobs or looking to take a plunge. What advice would you give these people?

Ronnie: Yes. Go out on a limb. Stop living in a fearful mindset. People want more. People know that by doing what they are doing, they are not going to achieve more. People won't change and face a new future because of fear.

We all know the acronym for fear. False Evidence Appearing Real.

So fear holds them back from giving something a go. And they never shift from where they are to where they want to be.

Me: How do you manage your relationships?

Ronnie: Don't take someone's advice if you are not prepared to put it into practice.

Me: What's after this, Ronnie?

Ronnie: (Pauses) You just brought up something really powerful. My response to you is "There is nothing after this."

This is it.

And I think that you have just taught me a valuable lesson. Absolutely, you have contributed to me in a huge way. I appreciate that. That is really generous of you.

There is nothing after this.

That is really present for me right now. Everybody is living their lives for what's happening after this. And I think they need to be consciously aware that there is nothing after this.

I am not talking about whether there is an after life, or a god, or if there is heaven or hell.

Its not about what's after this. This is it.

Start living your life as if this is the final act.

Me: There is a book titled "Flow - The Psychology of Optimal Experience". People always have the notion that they are happiest when they are retired, relaxing on a beach or lounging away...But what this Hungarian professor found is that when people lose themselves in an activity, when time just seems to flow by in peak concentration vs. relaxation, that's when they are most happy and creative.

(PS: The author's name is Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi. But there was no way I could pronounce that. Nor would Ronnie ever comprehend... my pronounciation, i mean :))

That's when they are in the flow. So what are the moments when you discover yourself being in the flow?

Ronnie: Being with someone like you. Being present. Being Real.

Me: What are the activities where you lose yourself?

Ronnie: I live my life as a flow. My everyday is a flow. Because I don't do anything that I don't wanna do anymore.

You have stopped doing things you don't wanna do. Who are the people whom you have also dropped from your life, consciously?

Many. And I dropped them not because of right and wrong. Not because I'm good and they are bad, I dropped them because their mission, purpose, focus was no longer aligned with mine. So I dropped them only because we were both heading in opposite directions.

Me: So even if you liked the fella....

Ronnie: The only reason you like someone is because you have an aligned core value. So if you didn't have an aligned core value, you couldn't like them.

Now, there is a difference between dislike and like, in so much as I really like you. vs. I really dislike you. I am talking about....We like everybody. The bloke who takes my luggage, I like him.

Me: You are saying that being aligned emotionally requires a certain connection.

Ronnie: Absolutely.

Me: You are a D personality (D for DRIVE in the DISC profiling tool). Have you always been driven in your life?

Yes, that's pretty obvious. You are talking about the DISC concept right? Florence Littauer talks about Personality Plus.

We are what we are. Neither is right or wrong. We just need to learn how to operate with the other personalities in the world.

Me: So what kind of personalities do you connect strongly with?

Ronnie: All of them.

If you are going to succeed in life, you can't not like someone because they are this type or that type. Why is that any different from 'I don't like you because you are Asian and I am Caucasian? Why is that any different from 'You are from Africa, and I am not'. You are what you are, regardless of your skin colour or personality type.

There is good people in every type. There is bad people in every type. So don't pre-judge people. Give everybody the opportunity of an open heart. And when there is proof beyond a question of doubt they don't deserve it, then close it.

Me: Are you a guilty until proven innocent, or an innocent until proven guilty person?

Ronnie: That's obvious.

Me: Even if you have learnt that one of your biggest lessons is not to be guillable...

Ronnie: If you are a guilty until proven innocent person, boy-oh-boy, you are cynical and what a life you are gonna have!

Ronnie had this huge glow on his face. Its almost as he savoured his life's journey during the course of the interview, and it was truly a delight. We can tell if someone truly loves his life, and I think that makes someone incredibly attractive.

I re-discovered the law of attraction. Its definitely not a plunging neckline, or more make-up. Its not having the hottest male accessory - a Lamborghini (the Murcielago model especially, oh I digress), or a full-head of hair. Its not just learning influence techniques, body language or mirroring strategies.

"Its being comfortable in your own skin, and loving your life."

- Karen Leong

On the fundamental Law of Attraction

Ronnie Kagan Interview (Part 1 of 3) - My midnight interview with the International Business Guru

Interview with Ronnie Kagan - Still looking fresh!
3rd July 2009 1:00am
Friday wee hours of the morning
Changi Village Hotel Lounge Bar
Singapore

This 3-parter 'Interview with Ronnie Kagan' kicks-off my interview series with 100 inspirational individuals who have achieved success in pursuing what they are truly passionate about.

One common thread: They never achieve this by going it alone. They all attribute their success to certain people in their lives. My quest is to gain insights into how they attract these valuable connections into their lives, their networking magic and secrets to their success.

Nailing the Interview: The Approach [Monday, 30 June 2009, 10.30pm]

I met Ronnie Kagan when he presented an hour long seminar for the Asian Professional Speaker's Association monthly meeting on Tuesday evening, 30 June 2009. He had just flown in from Russia, where he had addressed a crowd of thousands. I was fascinated by this man who only achieved a high school education, yet rose to achieve heights of success, reached by so few. (Its all laid out in his profile below!)

At the end of the seminar, he was surrounded by a group who wanted to buy his books/cds. He had cleverly slipped in during his speech that he had only 8 books and 2 CDs for the evening. The scarcity bait! Unfortunately, I had used up most of my cash on the evening's entrance fee, so I didn't have moolah to buy one. Didn't see him with a credit card or NETS machine. Nevertheless, I hovered around him until there was a opening in the group, and I introduced myself.

"Hi, I'm Karen. I absolutely loved your talk. I'd like to buy your book, but I don't have spare cash on me right now. You don't happen to take credit or a bank transfer?" That question, was definitely a filler. But it was there to give him a reason to reply me.

"No, unfortunately." Ok, time to move on to securing an interview, the book purchase can come later.....

"Ronnie, I am writing an interview series on successful individuals who turn passions into profits, and you are someone that I think will inspire many people with your story. Would you have any time for me to schedule a brief interview?"

He looked at me for a few seconds. It seemed like eternity. And from the corner of my eye, I could see the rest of the women around me (for some reason, I could only remember the women) waiting around for their turn, and listening for his reply.

"I'll be flying to Malaysia tomorrow and will be back Thursday. I will then be flying off on Friday. How about Thursday afternoon?"

"Great!" I'll take that! Yes, though I am leading evening seminars back-to-back from Wednesday to Friday. I'll take any window of opportunity.

He then whipped out a card, and asked me to give him a call.

"I'll buy the book from you when we meet!" I genuinely looked forward to reading his book. The thought also crossed my mind that giving him one extra reason (one more book sale to a potential fan!) not to stand me up, wouldn't hurt.

Yippee! The first interview of this series confirmed.

Here's a brief profile of Ronnie Kagan as promised (of course with google search, you can get this and more, but this is here so that I can spare you the effort of additional keystrokes) :)

During his 30 years of business Ronnie Kagan has gained a broad foundation upon which his huge success is based; from Co-Founder and World Wide Vice President of a Gold Company employing over 5,000 people, to part ownership in an International Franchise organization coaching 32 licensees with over 345 employees in 8 countries. Ronnie also co-founded a property development company that turned over $1 billion per annum.

With his straight-forward, frank approach – he delivers powerful presentations on how to inspire and motivate a work force and generate more profits. Ronnie has delivered more than 1,000 presentations to a combined audience of over 1 million people in 15 different countries. As the author of the International best seller The Winning Way in Business, he clearly understands what it takes to be successful in the rapidly changing business world.

Past Midnight: The Long Wait [Thursday, 1 July 2009, 11pm till Ronnie arrived just after 1am]

Last minute meetings on my end. The decision to hold the interview at 11pm at Changi Village after Ronnie was done with his convention. Mixed signals. Miscommunication.

I ended up waiting for Ronnie for over 2 hours at the lobby cafe of Changi Village Hotel. I had been yawning away as I just finished leading a 3-hour evening seminar earlier after a full work day.

But thank god for the iPhone. Many people have commented that I seem addicted to it, but this time it was extremely nifty in doing research on the fly. Hmmm.... Ronnie's bio, YouTube videos, twitters, it takes time to research a man, in order to get under his skin.

The Interview Begins [Post-1am, 1 July 2009]

Ronnie arrives! Extremely apologetic for the miscommunication, and we settled back into the cosy lobby lounge. He has had a long day himself, but still radiated this warm glow. I think to myself - his eyes are his best feature. He seems to look into your soul with his eyes. Yet they are smiling eyes, so you don't feel intimidated, rather deeply connected.

Note to self: The eyes can connect a person to another in a way, no amount of words can. For a start.... Just look into the eyes of another 1 or 2 more seconds than you normally would. Your connection with anyone will instantly deepen.

I ask Ronnie "Would it be ok if I recorded our interview?"

"Of course. I charge for my coaching sessions. All these conversations I have with people are recorded, so they don't miss a thing" Big Smile.

I turn on the voice memo application on my iPhone. Gratitude. Steve Jobs has created a magical application the size of my palm. Can't ever imagine living without my iPhone. It ranks way higher than the invention of the air-conditioner.

Ronnie thoughtfully picks up my iPhone, checks to see where the Mic is, and opens the interview by saying "This is an Interview with Ronnie Kagan, 2nd of July, (he forgot its past midnight which means its now 3rd July morning... ) Changi Village Hotel Singapore..."

My interview begins.

Watch out for part 2 and 3 over the next 2 days!

7 Valuable Ways of Keeping in Touch - Having gratitude and appreciation come your way all the time!

Networking is now acknowledged as a powerful way of opening doors to business and job opportunities.

How do you nurture a quality network? Keeping in touch is the key to cultivating real relationships instead of superficial ones.

How many of you have attended networking events where you collect hundreds of name cards but end up not keeping in contact with any of them? Networking is not just about exchanging business cards, but about keeping in touch and building long-term relationships.

In today's competitive environment, we are constantly being sold to, prospected, and marketed to. If your keeping in touch process is uninspired and self-serving, you will be relegated to the level of spam. One way to be truly memorable is to focus on embedding value in your keeping in touch process. It shows that you have taken the time to understand the other person's needs and interests, and will motivate him to reciprocate in the relationship.

Here are 7 ways to keep in touch by providing value:

1. Remember Birthdays
Everyone values their birthday, and will remember the people who send them birthday wishes (and often those who forgot). Birthday wishes are the poorer cousin of Christmas and New Year Greetings because many people focus on keeping in touch with their entire network with mass greetings on 2 days of the year. Keeping in touch is about being personal, not efficient. There is now no reason to forget someone's birthday with the availability of social networking tools such as FaceBook or websites such as birthdayalarm.com.

2. Celebrate Special Achievements
A businessman contact of yours may have been awarded the Entrepreneur of the Year Award. Don't forget to send him a congratulatory note! People are proud of their special achievements as this represents recognition of the results of their passion and dedication. You can keep abreast of special achievements of your contacts in the media, especially trade or club magazines. A hole-in-one, a promotion, a special appointment to a board of committee, even marriage is a special achievement. Acknowledging these achievements shows that you care about what matters most to them. Celebrating the anniversary of these special achievements, allows you to keep in touch in a special way every year.

3. Be a Connector
People are continually looking for contacts to help them in their job search, secure financing for their business, engage a quality accountant, lawyer, find the best specialist for their ailments or even a potential mate! A powerful way to build up your quality network is to be a connector. If you come across contacts that will be useful to your network, offer to link them up. However it is important that you treat your current network with respect and only link people up when there are obvious synergies.

4. Be an Information broker
Many of the corporate executives who attend my networking training programs ask me "If I am networking with the affluent, how do I add value to them, especially when they are already in a stronger financial position than me?" One of the most powerful commodities today is information. Many affluent people are starved for time, and your ability to provide relevant information to them would be appreciated. I discovered that people are most grateful for information that can help in their wealth, health and children. A timely stock market analysis report, an article listing proven solutions to alleviate Irritable Bowel Syndrome or information to help a child secure a place in school of choice can earn you grateful brownie points.

5. Email humour
There is nothing like a funny email joke or interesting video clip to perk up a workday afternoon. Please don’t take short-cuts and mass forward every remotely funny email you receive. It’s about taste and personalization. If you come across a hilarious video clip of Russell Peters, one of the world’s leading stand-up comedians, your contacts who you know appreciate his humour would be impressed that you remembered to send some comic relief their way.

6. Handwritten Cards
People rarely receive mail today that is not the form of a bill or official letter. A handwritten card with a personalized greeting instantly adds value as we all love pleasant surprises in the mail. The message can be a simple “Thank you” or “It’s wonderful meeting you, let’s stay in touch” The receiver will remember that you have taken the effort to make them feel special.

7. Create experiences
In today's recessionary economy, consumer confidence is at an all time low. However, the feel-good industry continues to do well as people indulge in uplifting experiences to escape from the pervasive negative reporting on television and the newspapers. Be a catalyst. Provide a unique experience to your network. Take the initiative of organising a themed party, a movie night, a wine-and cheese gathering, a dinner experience at a good restaurant. Be creative and you will be amazed at how grateful people are to a proactive host.

Keeping in touch is about taking action. I like the simple concept of following up with at least one person everyday.

Choose a variety of ways that work for you. Have fun adding value to your network and it will do the same for you.

Last Holiday - a movie about throwing caution to the wind and learning the power of attracting the life you desire by being real

I saw a lovely inspiring movie last night, "The Last Holiday" a 2006 remake of a 1950 film, starring Queen Latifah.

Such movies remind us that we all have dreams and possibilities that we keep postponing. Many of us settle for a compromised version of what we could have been. Ah - what would it be like if we were to throw our caution to the wind, and start tasting life?

Many of us are have some inner shyness yet want to attract ourdream job, dream parter, dream lifestyle. It also reminds me that life is not about transactional relationships, its not about keeping score. Its about being real and having a genuine interest and curiosity about the world and people around us. We all can have access to the lifestyle we want if we start taking steps towards living it, even if its just a baby step.

Here is an exerpt of the review of the move "Last Holiday" by Roger Ebert of the SunTimes:

Latifah plays a sales clerk named Georgia Byrd, who works in a big chain store in antediluvian New Orleans, giving cooking demonstrations. At home alone in the evenings, she prepares elaborate gourmet dishes, watching TV cooking shows and training herself to be a great chef. Then, more often than not, she eats a lonely Lean Cuisine, because she's on a diet.
The need for dieting comes to a sudden halt when she receives bad news: She has three or four weeks to live. Her HMO won't cover the expensive treatment, which might not work anyway, and so Georgia throws caution to the wind, cashes in her 401-K, and buys a ticket to Karlovy Vary in the Czech Republic. That's where her hero, Chef Didier, rules the kitchen, and she decides to go out in style, eating everything on the menu and treating herself to all the services of the spa and the ski slopes.

Karlovy Vary is a jewel box of a spa town 90 minutes outside of Prague. Its hotels are high and wide but not deep, because steep mountain walls rise close behind them. A stream runs down the center of the town, and at the top of the little valley is the Grand Hotel Pupp, where Georgia checks in. My wife and I were in Karlovy Vary four years ago for the film festival, and, like Georgia, we did a double-take when we discovered that the correct pronunciation of the hotel rhymes with "poop." Yes, but it is a magnificent edifice, and soon Georgia is walking eagerly into the dining room to order -- well, everything on the menu.

Visiting this hotel is another party, consisting of a retail tycoon named Matthew Kragen, who owns the chain of giant stores including the one Georgia resigned from in New Orleans. At his table are his mistress, a senator and a congressman. They are startled when Chef Didier pays more attention to the woman dining by herself than to their self-important table. They don't know that Georgia has already invaded the chef's kitchen and impressed him with her cooking skills -- both disciplined, and improvised.

Who is this woman? Kragen's table becomes consumed with curiosity, especially since Georgia Byrd is obviously very wealthy. There's a montage that reminds us of "Pretty Woman," as she raids a high-fashion dress shop (while "If I Were a Rich Girl" plays on the soundtrack), and subjects herself to being beaten with birch leaves at the spa ("I Feel Pretty"). A spa in Karlovy Vary is not quite as spartan as one in America, and does not count so many calories; after your treatments, you are free to recover with roast duck and dumplings, followed by apple strudel.

By making no claims, putting on no airs, telling no lies and acting as if she had nothing to lose, Georgia transforms the hotel. The important guests are in awe of her. The staff is in love with her. The chef adores her. And there is even romance in the air, because of her unmistakable chemistry with Sean Matthews, a New Orleans co-worker who is shy but -- I will not reveal more.

And what, you ask, about the Idiot Plot? The whole story depends on a series of elaborate misunderstandings. One word would set everybody straight. Yes, true, and yet the movie smiles and winks at its own contrivances, and we enjoy them. The point of this story is not to discover the truth about Queen Latifah's past life, but to enjoy the unfolding of her future life (if of course she has one).

One of the movie's best scenes comes when she gives advice to the tycoon's mistress -- who is conventionally sexy, but senses that Georgia is sexy in a transcendent way because of who she is. The mistress is sexy to look at. Georgia is sexy when you see her. The men at the other table can't take their eyes off.

The Food Connection

What we do most naturally socially, is dining. If you would like to network naturally, one good place is to start with Singapore's national past-time.... Food! Singaporeans bond most naturally over food. Singaporeans are known to travel the distance for their favourite chicken rice, char kway teow and bak kut teh (even in the face of today's rising oil prices). The pages of The Straits Times Life! section every Sunday dedicated to glorious food and people in the food scene as well as the thousands of food blogs is testimount to our passion for food.

5 steps to Natural Networking through Food:

1. Be a Food Maven

Life is about experiences. If you naturally enjoy food, become the expert on the food scene in Singapore. Aim to try out one new place each week, and invite your friends. I love to do research through food blogs to uncover food havens, especially new restaurant openings. Be the person who creates dining experiences for others and that ups your attraction factor. This is a great opportunity to connect naturally with networks such as your alumni, interesting acquaintances, business associates.

2. Befriend the Chef

Tickle your natural networking instincts by befriending the chef, the hostess, the owner of the restaurant. Be genuinely interested. Often, they will regale you with interesting stories about their journey into food haven. Don't forget, they tend to be great connectors, meeting with different people everyday.

3. Start at the Buffet Table

When you are at a business cocktail, and you feel nervous when you first enter and don't see any friendly faces, the best place to start is the buffet table. Food is a great conversation starter. I find it easiest to speak to the person next to me, helping himself to the gorgeous looking open-faced smoked salmon sandwich, with the line "The spread looks pretty good, doesn't it?", before a question of how he is connected with the event.

4. Lets do Lunch

Lets face it. We spend most of our waking hours at work, and nothing smooths your path to the big league in your company, then healthy relationships with your colleaguesthat matter. I suggest you break away from your regular lunch clique at least once a week to lunch with potential mentors, executives in other departments, your clients, or anyone who is interesting.

5. Take up a Class

A great way to meet new and diverse people is to take up a culinary class. For example, At sunrice organises asian-themed classes. Go one step further: Select a restaurant you love and arrange for the chef to present a culinary class. Then advertise this to your contacts directly or through FaceBook or another social networking portal. A variation of the food theme is drink. There are a plethora of wine appreciation classes available. Or try out stout or vodkha appreciation classes to meet people who are more adventurous. Enjoy your food networking journey!